After being married in 2015, life was amazing. My wife and I had really dug in our careers, myself as a police officer and her as a correctional officer. Our biggest worry was where to travel next and how many days off we could get together because our hectic schedule. We thought we were too old for kids, both being in our mid and late 30’s and that our schedule would never allow it.
Then in May of 2017 we found out we were having a baby! Seeing the joy on my wife’s face was priceless. The terror in mine was also priceless according to her.
We were both established adults and were ready to handle this. We went to see our little guy on the ultra sound and words can never describe that joyful experience. They offered genetic testing and we only did it because we wanted to know the sex of the baby.
On June 23 which was my wife’s birthday, we were waiting for the call, arguing about names and listening to my wife tell me she was positive it was a girl. Then the phone rang, I watched my wife’s excited look turn to fear and terror, her hands shook, her eyes watered, she was confused, something was wrong. “You can’t tell if it’s a boy or girl” she said, “what chromosome”. She handed the phone to me and I calmly asked several questions.
The doctor told me “You are having a baby boy, he has Klinefelter syndrome, he will be tall, possibly grow breasts, have a low intelligence level, and never have children. It’s good we caught it early so you can decide what you want to do”. I looked at my wife who was still shocked and confused as what was going on. I explained what the doctor told me and delivered the worst news my wife had probably ever heard on her birthday, no less. Abortion was never an option with us and I was upset at the doctor alluding to it.
I was terrified. Was my future son going to be this weak brittle man with no muscle tone and female breasts? I know how cruel this world can be to people and I feared for his future. I began to research at all hours of the night and day. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, going to work and dealing with people at their worst and trying to hide my own pain and solve their problems seemed impossible.
My wife would tell people we were having a baby with a half smile, hiding her pain and fear of the unknown.
In researching I saw the same photos and read the same thing over and over. Eventually I stopped and told myself I will solve problems when they arise after he was born. My wife would continue to research our son’s Xxy, tears running down her face often. I felt helpless not being able to help her enjoy her pregnancy. All future check ups went well and our little guy was born December 14. I was so scared wondering what he would look like. Then baby Gage was born, no different than any other baby boy I had seen in the past.
His eyes were open and I would later tell my wife it felt like he looked at me with a stare that said “what the hell were you worried about pops”.
At 2 weeks he was able to support his head and his neck was strong. At 2 months he rolled over, at four months he could roll both ways and sit up on his own, 5 months standing using furniture, and at 10 month he walked!!! My boy who was supposed to be dumb and lifeless and weak was completely the opposite. I know it’s a large spectrum of symptoms and everyone’s experience is their own, but all physical development of our boy has been ahead of the game. He is now 13 months and says Mom, Dad, Up, and papa.
As far as actual symptoms that relate to our son’s Xxy, it took him a while to get teeth. He is in the 90 percentile in length every visit, but I’m 6’2 as well. He didn’t breast feed when he was born and perfected the bottle. He is a very mellow kid, only cries if he needs something and is well behaved. I thought learning that my son’s Xxy was the worst news I ever heard, but it was actually a blessing because I know what symptoms to look for and can get him help if he needs it. My son’s Xxy is not a part of our every day life at this point in time, though I realize that can change at different levels of age. My advice to parents and it’s easier said then done, enjoy your pregnancy, it is the most amazing experience of your life. That’s my wife’s biggest regret, not enjoying every moment of pregnancy. To the dads, I know it’s a macho world for men but don’t let that taint your outlook on your son.
Having our son Gage has been the best year of my life. I feel dumb for all the stress I put myself through before he was born. Remember being diagnosed puts parents at an advantage as we know what to look for. Now I just need to figure out how to keep the little guy out of my police car!
Written by a Loving Father about his son’s Xxy journey.